The other day a friend was joking about an outfit her Dominant wanted her to wear. "Well i can always declare "last act" " she quipped. She was referring to a submissive/slaves ultimate decision to remove their collar. Now i know this person and know they were only joking and not the least bit serious. To a submissive/slave taking off the collar is like cutting off an arm with a dull butter knife. Which is to say it is truly the last thing they would want ever to do. Unfortunately all too often i have seen many who ARE serious about using "last act" to get their way.
Master teaches in His Dominance courses that while the Dominant has the final order and say of the household, the submissive/slave has the ultimate power of last act. This is why He cautions Dominants to make sure of Their decisions. Being honest, safe, and consider that sub/slave's feeling when making choices are very important. Taking these things for granted will ultimately lead to last act. But i would also have to add that Dominants should be careful of the person they collar too. Be certain this person values YOU and all You believe in, trusts You, and that You have given time to truly understand E/each other. Otherwise You might end up with a sub/slave that could care less about Your decisions and blatantly try to top You.
Unfortunately i have seen it be a common response when i tell students "your Dominant owns you not the other way around. It is not your place to challenge the Dominant, but rather respectfully share your feelings about certain things. Then your duty to obey the final decision." Which inevitably leads to "but i can always take my collar off if i don't like the decision". Well, yes technically you can. But hold on to your leashes my siblings in service. Lets stop and think about the importance of this great power. It was never intended to give you control of the Dominant. It was intended as a safety net for those times when a Dominant makes a clearly unsafe and harsh decision or order. If a Dominant orders you rob a bank, THAT would be a good reason to take off your collar and run. But if you are being punished for being disrespectful and ordered to write an essay, for example, then taking off the collar is the last thing you should even consider. In this instance the only thing you should be doing is writing that essay and thinking about how your actions reflect on your Dominant.
The simple truth is that taking off your collar every time you disagree with your Dominant is not only topping Them, but it cheapens the collar to nothing. The whole purpose of the collar and the commitment are lost. There are going to be times when you disagree with your Dominant. Its normal. But when you took that collar you told your Dominant that you trusted Them to make the final decisions. Trusted them enough to kneel and obey. If you have no trust for a Dominant then you have no business being collared to Them. And if you think "last act" is intended to get your own way, then you don't belong in the lifestyle. Your collar is a symbol of honor and commitment to that Dominant. Last time i checked, honor and commitment were not things you do when you feel like it or when it is convenient.
But the biggest mistake i see being made by subs/slaves who use the power of "last act" this way is in thinking it is reversible. Folks the truth is a strong and confidant Dominant will consider "last act" just that; the LAST act.
I have seen subs and slaves who were shocked when their Dominant refused to take them back. They act as though they have been wronged. "Well it was such a silly thing really! I cant believe They wont give me back my collar!"..Of course not! If it is a petty and nonsense thing you took your collar off for then you deserve to be left where you are. That Dominant clearly sees that sub/slave for the manipulative person they are and since they so conveniently let them self out of the house, why bring them back?
A confidant, well educated Dominant will not put up with being bullied or manipulated. Once Their collar is thrown off in this manor, it will never be offered again. That promise and bond were broken. And a confidant Dominant would rather have no submissive or slave than be stuck with a manipulator. Eventually They will find someone to serve Them with honor.
NOW...at this point my words have been toward my fellow subs/slaves. But i would be lying if i said that Dominants have not also used the collar in this fashion too. I have seen subs/slave scared to sneeze wrong for fear of having their collar yanked. And i have seen Dominants very blatantly state that the minute a servant disagrees in the slightest about any decision made or even breaths a word of being uncomfortable that collar is off. This is not Domination. This is bullying too.
A Dominant should not have to use the threat of decollaring to get His/Her way. A submissive/slave is also a human. We have thoughts and feelings and those need to be considered when making decisions. Mistakes are also part of being human. No sub/slave should have to be afraid to breath wrong in order to serve. If i am afraid to put on a pair of shoes and have them be the "wrong" ones, i am not being dominated i am being terrorized.
Yet i have even heard "Dominants" make statements like "i am going to call her slut in public and if she don't like it there's the door"...Really? What are her limits? Is she OK with being humiliated just because it gives you a jolly? And what does this say about the value of a Dominants collar if they can be yanked for such things? Any idiot can CALL themselves "Dominant". That doesn't mean they are. And if a collar is so easy for a "Dominant" to pop off without the slightest feeling for it, then that collar is so cheap its not worth wearing. A dime a dozen in fact. For these "domwannabies" a thought; No self respecting sub/slave is going to have their gift manipulated like this. True servants are going to be absolutely crushed if you take away a collar. And don't even THINK of asking them back. You broke their trust in you and it will never return.
To my fellow siblings in service, if you are being threatened to have your collar taken over the most minuscule of perceived slights every day then maybe your Dominant is not Dominant. Just insecure and using the collar as a means to scare rather than show care of you. The collar should be the open symbol of the Dominant's care and honor They feel for you and your submission. It should not be used as a "do it or lose it" choke hold.
In the M/s lifestyle total power exchange is expected. But the Master will not collar a slave that is not ready to give TPE either. Therefore They would not use the collar as a punishment. It is the symbol of Their commitment to the slave. They would not cheapen the value of Their collar by using it daily as a ball gag.
The moment a "dominant" takes that collar off out of some petty notion that it will "teach you a lesson"...consider it last act. Do not answer calls, do not engage in conversation. Let them go. I have seen subs/slaves go through the agony of being decollared, the abandonment, and the devastation. Only to be contacted by that "dominant" a day later who expects them to jump back in the collar or jump back into command. If you allow them to do this to you, then it will happen over and over. You should never allow yourself to be collared only when it is convenient to the "Dominant". They may cry, whine, etc, but they made that final decision. Since they have the final word, let them live with it.
My final Sub-Stance; folks a collar is not something you can toss off and on like underwear. It is not meant to be used as a manipulation tool or "when ever i feel like it". A true collar is a commitment to a relationship. It is saying to E/each other "I care for you, I vow to honor you, and I will respect my commitment to you". If either party does not feel this care or commitment then leave the collar off. It wont be worth, as Momma used to say, "the powder and shot to blow it up". Leaving a collar or taking one away is not something to be done lightly. It is severing the cord between the Dominant and sub/slave. It is not a punishment, it is a finality.
